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Chris's didn't have any strong distinctive over riding scent, wood perhaps from the polished floors, and a subtle aroma that he could only describe as freshly washed Chris. PJ closed the door behind him and found himself in just a few strides standing in front of Chris's slightly disheveled bed. For some reason he allowed himself to sprawl out on top of the covers lying back with his head resting in the slight indentation left by Chris. He closed his eyes and let his mind wander.
He was so confused, he had the end of Uni to cope with, plus trying to put some career opportunities in place; to be honest a lot of them were follow ups from pokers that had been in the fire for over a year but they still needed attention.
Now this weird treacherous change in his feelings and reactions to Chris to contend with. Did he fancy his friend, he was pretty sure he loved him, but a lot of good friends loved each other right?
He was for the second time today trying to ignore the painfully swollen feeling in his tight jeans. Hand moving slowly down his bodyeyes still closed breathing in the scent of his friend and feeling the soft fabric of his top give way to the harsh thick denim tight and constraining agains the growing swelling beneath his breath came faster.
The flat of his palm moving against the hard mound. His breath was catching in his throat all he could think of was Chris.
All the fun they'd had together what a great mate he was, and how his big soft subtly calico eyes melted when he looked at him, a gorgeous mixture of green, brown and even blue if the light was right. The way he teased him and how good that felt, how he took that for granted.
PJ was becoming more aroused and his hips started to move against his hand. One moment he was lost in thoughts of Chris the next he had leapt off the bed as if seared by a snapping sizzling bolt of lightning. PJ stood at the end of Chris's bed a mass of emotions flowing through his body and mind too much to contain. His breath coming fast and uneven.
He wasn't normally a crier but another thing happened for the second time today and the floodgates just burst. Tears spilling down his cheeks and falling from his chin onto the floor. He just stood there for a moment hands in his hair trying to gather himself together. After a moment of indecision he wiped his eyes angrily picked up his backpack and simply fled. Knowing that Chris's door would lock behind him without the key he threw it onto the table and slammed the door behind him.
Checking it to make sure it was locked. His normally friendly open demeanour was muted on the journey home, shuffling onto the train trying to find somewhere relatively quiet to sit. Sometimes he felt almost ok and able to keep himself together watching the landscape rush by evolving and changing with every mile, at other times having to hide his face behind some paperwork as the tears refused to remain contained.
Chris's Pov Chris moved on to a cinema after the pub hoping to shut off the constant gnawing thoughts and feelings in his brain and body, pleading with his sensible side to find PJ and just beg him to give him a chance. He knew if he saw PJ now he would do something that might ruin their friendship and he couldn't let that happen.
At least his annoyance at the film took his mind of Peej a little, just a little though. It was six o clock before he arrived home. He had half hoped to find PJ still there waiting for him, but the key was on the table and the flat was definitely bereft of Italian hunk. Chris sighed as he lowered himself onto the end of his bed shucking of his jacked and dumping it beside him. He was glad PJ had come here instead of wandering about, Chris knew PJ loved to explore the nooks and crannies of the city so he felt it meant something that he had chosen to come to his home rather than indulge in some sight seeing.
His heart sank as he looked at the key on the table, it seemed like a physical manifestation of PJ's rejection of him as anything other than a friend. Peej knew he could have kept the key, Chris had kind of meant him to, so he knew that he was welcome anytime. The fact that he had chosen to leave it behind hurt Chris.
He flopped back on his bed and realised that the bedding had moved, even though he wasn't the tidiest housekeeper he could tell that they'd been crumpled up a little more, and the pillow smelt of Peej. He smiled to himself as he realised PJ must have lain here if only briefly.
He turned on his side hugged the pillow to him burying his face in it the smell of PJ giving him more comfort than the soft fluffy pillow had given him alone. He didn't mean to but the emotional strain and his busy schedule of late had taken it's toll and he fell asleep where he was.
He woke still clutching the pillow at four in the morning still fully dressed minus the jacket. As he'd groped for his phone to check the time he realised that there were a couple of messages and a few missed calls showing. He opened the missed calls first there were two from Sophie and one from Jamie, Jamie very rarely called him, Chris was a little worried but he wasn't sure why he should be.
There were also two texts from Sophie, one from PJ! All the texts from PJ's friends said basically the same thing, 'what have you done to PJ' and 'he's gone out and he's not back yet'. First things first Chris thought PJ's text had come through at about twelve thirty he opened it with shaking hands.
I guess what I really want to say is a question Do you like me? Really like me, like you pretend to for the videos? Chris thought, this came through hours ago, PJ must think he was being a 24 carat cunt. He had to get in touch with him. He rang PJ's number and kept getting voicemail, he left several increasingly urgent messages the last one being 'Yes I like you like that, I love you like that, get your skinny arse here or home safe NOW before you fall over a tramp or something!
Nausea swept over Chris like the down rush of a roller coaster, fuck, fuck, fuck, what if something had happened to PJ because of his selfishness, PJ could probably have lived happily without him why did he have to go all crafty on his arse just to try and get him to want him back. He checked the time it was four forty five am, about an hour since Sophie's last text he'd better get in touch with her. She would be worried and he doubted he would be waking her.
He pressed call and waited. Sophie sounded strained "Where the fuck have you been Chris!? We've been trying to get hold of you for ages". Chris recited the message which he remembered by heart his voice cracking as he spoke. If he sent that hours ago and hasn't heard back from you, and his phone is switched off As Chris paced back and forth like a trapped animal Sophie began.
PJ had arrived home looking s if he'd been in a fight, eyes red and nearly swollen shut, even his lips were puffed up. When she and Jamie, the only two of the 'crew' home at the time, had asked PJ what had happened he clammed up, brushing it off quickly claiming to be simply tired and that he must have had an allergic reaction to something.
He did look quite blotchy and puffed up so for a short while they gave him the benefit of the doubt. When Sophie passed his room a little later she heard what sounded like muffled crying.
She never just walked into the boys rooms without knocking but she felt so bad for PJ she wasn't going to risk him saying she couldn't come in so she just burst in. PJ was sitting on the edge of his bed with his elbows on knees and hands running through his hair as if he didn't know what to do with himself. She'd pleaded with Peej to confide in her, reminding him that they were as good as family, hoping he would talk to her or one of the boys. PJ had looked up at Sophie, clearly still crying, as if he couldn't stop even though he wanted to.
His eyes glistened until his swollen lids could contain the sadness no more and a tear would make it over the bottom lid and meander down his cheek apparently unnoticed by Peej. It was killing Chris to hear this, he hadn't wanted to hurt Peej and he couldn't admit it to Sophie but there were tears coursing down his own face too. He felt like a completed dick. Sophie described how she'd sat next to him. Peej confided in a desolate tone she rarely heard from him "I don't know what to do Soph!
Everything I thought I knew about myself is fucked up, I like girls, I love girls I want to get married one day and have kids! Sophie had rubbed PJ's back as if she was comforting a child. She'd done the mother confessor thing with Chris several weeks ago when they were all a bit tipsy and Chris had come over to chill. She could see how he was looking at PJ, different somehow than his usual flirty bravado, he almost looked like he was going to cry now and then.
He'd become much more subdued around Peej than he used to be. When she'd confronted him about it he told her that he couldn't stand to be so near PJ knowing that he'd never reciprocate his feelings. The urge to cuddle, kiss and just be with him was overwhelming, and he was considering trying to cut ties even though he thought it might just kill him. Because he couldn't cope with these feelings any more. Of course he'd said this in his own slightly exaggerated way, trying to make light of the fact that he'd just implied that he couldn't see himself living without Peej.
It was she who'd come up with the new strategy. She really liked Chris and thought that PJ did too and thought that this plan might tip Peej's hand if he did have feelings for Chris. She'd assumed that if he didn't then things would continue as they were and Chris sad though he would be would have to accept it.
She knew now that PJ obviously did have feelings for Chris, but they couldn't torture him anymore, whatever made Peej happy was the most important thing. Wrapping her arms around him protectively she had told PJ "Peej, it's ok! Everyone that loves and likes you will understand whatever it is you are going through or want to do. We'll support you one hundred percent. You have to do what makes you happy, whether that's what you've always done, or something new and scary, if it makes you happy and it's not damaging anyone else then go for it.
You've always been daring and innovative, so be brave now my 'Tiny Planet Explorer'". PJ just gave a deep sigh and a very weak smile "I'll think about it some more Soph, thanks, I think I need a shower now, and it might help me gather my thoughts".
He shouted don't wait up I'm going out, the door shut and we haven't been able to get in touch with him since". Shit, shit, shit, was Chris's first response, his second was to call himself a selfish cunt, and then to call himself selfish again because his first words hadn't been right we have to find him.
They talked about the possibility of tracking Peej's mobile phone, but all the services they could find required the phone being tracked to download an app or similar programme, or at least respond to a request from the tracker to give permission for the service. Also they didn't think it would work if his phone was turned off.
Louis and James had already gone out to start scouring PJ's favourite 'thinking' places, and Sophie and Jamie were ready to go and try some other areas. Chris felt useless stuck in his flat here all that distance away.
He told her he was coming to them, but Sophie felt it might be better for him to stay there in case PJ were to try to contact him at home somehow, or in case they needed to get to PJ fast and he was nearer Chris than them. If they'd heard nothing by the morning he could come then if he wanted. As soon as he got off the phone with Sophie he started ringing PJ every five minutes or so, his heart a dull leaden thudding lump inside him. He'd been doing this for nearly an hour each minute drawing out eternally, living through scenario after scenario convinced that something awful had happened to Peej.
When it actually connected and rang he jumped out of his skin. Chris muttered "come on Peej, please pick up". Just as he thought it was going to go to voice mail PJ's voice low and serious came "Chris". Everyone's been worried sick about you Chris loved PJ's unusual turn of phrase, one of the many things that he loved about him. Chris was about to tell him how sorry he was for how he'd been behaving when PJ interrupted, calmly, "open the door Chris".
Chris walked towards it, and as he reached for the handle he could see a figure drawing a little nearer and realised PJ was actually here! He opened his door and without another word PJ walked in. Chris's felt the air flood his lungs before rushing out again in what felt like the first breath he'd taken in days. Shutting the door he followed PJ into his flat. It was strange to see Peej looking dishevelled he was always so well groomed.
He stood in the middle of Chris's flat without any backpack, or cameras, alone unfettered and strangely still. Chris was flooded with relief but still worried as to how PJ was feeling, and whether he could forgive him. He moved towards his friend, still as a statue PJ watched him, his gaze almost fierce in its intensity. Chris stopped and put his arms out inviting a hug, PJ responded by raising his too but not moving towards Chris, an open welcoming invitation but one that Chris clearly needed to make the first move on.
He swallowed PJ up in his arms, hugging him so tight almost as if he wanted them to become one person. It was then knowing PJ was safe that tears really came ripping out of him, a deep shuddering sob tore through him and he couldn't speak, he couldn't even catch his breath for a moment. PJ seemed to snap back to life, his arms wrapped around Chris, one hand comfortingly stroking up and down his spine.
PJ's breath came warm on his cheek as he whispered to him. Chris managed to find his voice, broken between gasps "I'm so sorry Peej. I thought I'd fucked you up so badly you'd hate me forever, or worse". Chris shivered with pleasure and laughed between his slowly receding sobs, "Way to bruise my ego Luguori" he smiled as he turned his head so that their lips were almost touching. This felt perfect PJ thought, he allowed his instincts to come to the surface, no more reasoning things out, and forcing himself into a role even he had expected of himself.
This was right it didn't need over analysing. He released himself from their bear hug, locking eyes with Chris a look of sheer determination and something else on his face, and slid his coat off allowing it to crumple to the floor. Chris had always been amazed at the intensity PJ's cool green blue eyes could express, they could pierce you, smoulder right through you, and they were doing it now.
Chris gulped and shuffled awkwardly but he couldn't look away. His heart felt like a trapped bird inside his rib cage. It was beating so fast the brief thought crossed his mind that it would be just like him to die of a heart attack right now when things appeared to be going right.
PJ took one step forward and reached out for Chris, taking him by the waist and pulling him close then cupping his face with both hands. Chris's arms windmilled very slightly in surprise before reaching out to rest his hands on slim hips. In an instant PJ's lips were on his. All the sensation in his body was gathered and concentrate right there in that one place and this one moment of time. If anything could rip a hole in the fabric of time and space the emotions he was feeling right now might just do it.
He let out a deep moaning sigh expressing years of thwarted lust and emotion in that one sound, and slid his arms around Peej's waist relishing the warmth of his body against him.
He felt as if he must surely be dreaming, even as PJ kissed him he couldn't help the treacherous fear that gnawed at him. The fear that he would wake up from this dream, the fear that if he wasn't dreaming PJ would change his mind, regret what he was doing. Thankfully he couldn't focus on the fear for long with PJ's lips continuing their exploration of his.
PJ's hand now cupping the back of Chris's head the other arm tight about him locking them in a lovers embrace. Did you mean it? Eyes closed Chris became completely lost in the sensation, fears fading away like ghosts at dawn. PJ's firm lips pressed against his full soft ones working in harmony, bringing Chris's arms reflexively up high on PJ's Back, his fingers and palms desperately raking across his shoulders down his back and around his waist again, as if he couldn't get enough of Peej wanting to feel every inch of him.
PJ's kiss was making that damn bird inside his chest move to his stomach too, he felt as if surely little sparks must be coming off them like some kind of human Van De Graaff Generator. PJ pulled in even closer so that their bodies were pressed so tight together it almost hurt.
PJ's left arm moved to Chris's back now stroking in big languorous circles making his shirt ride up, leaving enough room for PJ's hand to just slide right under.
Where it continued it's journey skin to skin. The hand cupping his head starting to clench and tug in his hair almost as if he wanted to eat Chris right up. Suddenly pulling Chris's head to the side making him gasp and exposing a long length of silky neck, which PJ proceeded to lick and kiss.
Sucking firmly leaving swelling bursts of love discolouring Chris's skin, these were no delicate pinpricks but full luscious bruising signposts of ownership. He felt Chris quiver under his lips making little incoherent gasping noises as his hands clutched at PJ as if he was completely unable to control his reactions. PJ kissed his way back to Chris's lips, gave a lingering peck and took a moment to allow himself to bask in the kaleidoscope of greens and browns that made up the glorious glistening orbs of his lovers eyes.
He knew now that's what they were going to be, he couldn't believe that it had taken him this long to realise how he truly felt about Chris. Lovers, best friends and more if Chris would have him. Chris stared back his eyes wide still disbelieving of what was happening, for once in his life lost for words completely unable to articulate how much this meant to him, how much he had needed him, how Peej had him completely and forever.
PJ didn't give Chris long to try and come up with any words. He could feel him rock hard against his own aching swelling they needed to do something about it or there was going to be one almighty mess in their pants. For the moment though he was lost again in the desire to kiss the life out of the man who'd pursued him so relentlessly, even if in a sweet and funny way. Cradling Chris firmly but tenderly in his arms his lips began a slow sensual exploration of his face and lips, while his hands did the same to his body.
Everywhere PJ touched him it set of incandescent flares which spread out all over his body meeting and merging until the whole of his being was aflame. As PJ kissed him his kiss became more passionate, desperate even. Their tongues had only flirted so far, just tiny exploratory little flicks against lips but now for the first time PJ thrust his tongue firmly between Chris's lips not even asking permission.
Chris knew what the saying feeling weak at the knees meant now. He moaned into the kiss as their tongues explored each other, silky and sinuous moving in time as if they had been born to dance this dance. Chris hands reached for PJ's thick waves and curls and buried themselves there as if he were trying to stop himself sliding to the floor.
Feeling the tilt of PJ's head change a little and his arm tighten around his waist crushing him against him Chris didn't think he could stand much longer, he just wanted to spread out on the bed and lose himself in PJ land. Their lips had barely left each other since PJ lips first locked on his, yet there was no need to pull apart to breath, they were so synchronised that the little moments they smiled and their lips parted were all they needed for air.
At this moment all they needed was each other, oxygen could go hang. PJ had been slowly shuffling Chris backwards until he could feel his bed pressing against the back of his legs. PJ pulled reluctantly away from his lips eyelids heavy and eyes full of love and lust as Chris stumbled against the bed, He smiled wickedly and shuffled forward another step forcing them to overbalance and send them tumbling onto it.
It wasn't an elegant fall as PJ still had Chris locked in his arms, Chris's arms flew out to the side and into the air in an automatic 'save myself' reflex.
They hit the bed laughing. PJ chuckled as he nuzzled into Chris's long neck and began to kiss it again, more slow hot kisses each one a moment of searing perfection, as they moved from ear to jaw to collar bone.
Each one drawing a little more blood to the surface leaving a bloom of smaller pink pinprick blossoms on the skin. Chris's chest was heaving as if he couldn't get enough air, panting arching his back, little moans escaping him his head thrown back and lips parted as PJ continued his journey. The feeling of the man he'd loved for so long making love to him, his body pressed close was overwhelming. Hands now on Chris's shirt undoing the buttons and throwing it open, his hands following the contours of his body, caressing Chris's stomach.
The sensation of Chris's warm smooth creamy skin under his hands sent shockwaves of pleasure through PJ's body forcing him to take a sharp inhalation of breath his eyes fluttering closed with the overwhelming pleasure and feelings he was swamped with.
He ran his hands up over his ribs to his chest, brushing his palms over his nipples and on to Chris's shoulders pushing the shirt back, and dragging it off Chris as he leant forward to free it from his back. Chris let out a loud groan of pleasure and involuntarily thrust his hips up. PJ sat up straddling Chris across his thighs looking down at his panting friend flushed pink, eyes wide and black, lips rosy and kiss bruised, this is what and who he wanted more sure of this now than he had been of anything in his life.
Chris interrupted PJ's reverie propped on his elbows palms facing up in a 'what's going on' gesture, but with a dark wicked fire in his eyes and in his belly just blurted out "Well come on then Peej, fuck me! He could feel that he was still as hard as he was and it brought little gasps of pleasure from both of them.
As PJ's tight necked T-shirt popped over his head Chris took in the sight as it seemed to him that PJ's waves and curls bounced and glowed in the low morning light streaming through the windows, almost in slow motion. PJ smiled as they melted together hands moving with urgent passion against one another, lips sealed together. PJ was surprised to find the taste of salt on his lips. Chris was crying, "sorry Peej, it'll stop in a minute, I'm just so happy!
The time for coherent talking was past and PJ didn't want to wait any longer, he fumbled for Chris's zipper and in no time his trousers were cast to the other side of the room. As soon as Chris felt PJ's hands on his zip he started to release PJ from his jeans, but as they were spray painted on it took quite an inelegant ballet to get them off.
Chris rolled PJ onto his back straddling him and started to remove his boxers, his own following seconds later. Chris lowered himself one hand brushing up PJ's body taking time to let the fact that what he had fantasised about so often was happening against all the odds.
The little hairs on PJ's chest tickled against his fingers, he smiled as his hand moved to cradle his cheek. PJ's heart was pounding out of his chest as Chris kissed him gently, little butterfly kisses against his lips, his cheeks, his eyes, his throat.
His eyes closed and he gulped before sliding one hand around Chris's neck drawing him back to his lips, gently. Chris's lips as soft as rose petals and sweet as honey intoxicating, PJ was falling down a sensory rabbit hole that brought a sweet pain of longing almost as much as the singing thrill of pleasure. Little flicks of tongues darting softly from mouth to mouth. The kiss becoming more hungry and urgent with the growing ache between their legs. Chris started to move his hips against Peej, he pulled back a little to look into PJ's face as he stammered quietly, "you don't have to fuck me you know", now teasing PJ, grinning he whispered "I could fuck you" then more seriously "or we could just touch each other, I want you to be happy and enjoy this Peej" PJ half sat and half rolled Chris onto his back pinning him underneath him taking the warm fuzzy loved up Chris by surprise.
They lost themselves in each other making love as if they were meant to fit, perfectly synchronised, breath coming faster and faster until their aching, sweet shuddering release swept through them.
Leaving them collapsed in one another's arms, whispering words of love, lazy fingers sweeping through sweat slicked hair, little kisses and contented sighs as their heart beats and breath steadied. They dozed for a little while they'd had a stressful and worrying couple of days but were now content and more deeply happy than either of them could ever remember being. When they woke they busied themselves freshening up and brewing a nice cup of tea they also made some cereal even though it was nearer lunch time than breakfast.
They could hardly keep their eyes or their hands off one another, every time they came into proximity it brought a stroke of an arm, or peck on the cheek. PJ nearly dragged Chris back to bed when he slunk up behind him as he poured the cereal into the bowls. Sliding his arms around his waist pressing his long body against him, nuzzling against his neck, lips hot and gentle as they nibbled his earlobe and breathed "I love you too much Peej" against it.
They had things to do and plenty of time for exploring each other later. They were loving their sudden domesticity, their faces aching from smiling so much. They settled down on the sofa in the lounge area conversation flowing easily, and turning naturally to their future. Chris still wanted Peej to move in and this time PJ was in complete agreement.
After believing that he was going to lose Chris this last few weeks he wanted nothing more than to be with him as much as possible, sharing their life now seemed like the most natural thing in the world. He would still be heavily involved with his crew he was sure they'd understand when they knew how he and Chris felt about each other.
He and Chris would help them find accommodation as near as possible and help them move in and settle. They would still all be hanging out and working together, and Chris was more than happy about this. A few quiet moments passed, Chris was chewing on his bottom lip as if worried about something, "are you ok Chris, you're not regretting anything are you? It's just I was wondering — You don't want to keep this some big dark secret do you Peej?
Chris's head was a little downcast looking up at Peej, his eyes filled with hope and uncertainty. Chris had always been very open about his sexuality, making no secret of being bi and a bit of a horn dog. He saw no problem with remaining open and having people know he was now in a committed relationship with a man.
Also he felt proud that that man was PJ. He was so relieved when Peej answered "Nope I'm not going to live some bullshit lie, what you see is what you get with me. I don't care about people knowing about us I'm not going to hide and skulk about" Peej chuckled to himself. We were out in the garden, a nice day just chilling, chatting and eating when my dad asked if I was dating. When I said no he said, what about that Chris boy who is always after you?
He seems like a nice boy, he'd look after you, No? Chris smiled shaking his head in disbelief, his voice brimming with humour, "even your dad was shipping us" both boys laughing now as Chris leant towards Peej kissing him. Gazing into his beautiful clear green eyes a contented look on his face as he spoke gently "Jesus Peej you're so stubborn sometimes, how did it take so long for you to realise you were destined to be mine" before kissing him slow and sensual again he tasted of the little raspberries mixed through the cereal and tea.
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They reluctantly turned back to their half drunk tea talking about and planning the day ahead, Chris slurped at his drink lost in thought for a moment. Taking a deep breath "Sweetheart! Chris burst out laughing and hit Peej with a cushion The metonymic Oliver who measured it online delhi dating site is capable of producing unharmed.
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